relationship
coaching

with martha heymans

COMMUNICATION
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
CONNECTION

  • My coaching method builds on my belief that our capacity and ability to love ourselves is directly proportional to our capacity and ability to love others and be loved by them.

    I'll help you transform conflict and disconnection into deeper intimacy by giving you tools to shift out of damaging cycles, and increase your relationship skills and self esteem.

my approach

  • CLARIFY

    It all starts with identifying repeating conflicts, complaints, or experiences of disharmony. What are you experiencing that you don’t want, or what do you want that you don’t have?

  • REFLECT

    We examine your thoughts, fears, feelings and beliefs around these sub-optimal experiences—what stories are you running? What is your role in them?

  • CHANGE

    We walk through ways you can interrupt the sub-optimal pattern by changing the role you play in it, decreasing subconscious reactivity, and getting you what you want. Think of these as tools to improve your relationship.

online course


COMING SOON

couples

who care

a six week workshop on using your relationship as a mirror to better understand yourselves, decrease conflict and cultivate more connection.

testimonials

  • Martha is exceptional! She was patient with us throughout the entire process, meeting us where we were at with each situation and protecting each of our feelings and perspectives. She gave wonderful suggestions to my husband and I that were both appropriate for each of our personalities and allowed for personal and relationship growth between the two of us. She helped both of us step outside of our comfort zone (in a safe space) in order to address how we see and respond to conflicts that frequently arose in our relationship. She helped us honor our boundaries and find collaboration in our marriage!

    Krysta, New Jersey

  • Martha is a breath of fresh air to say it in a simple sentence! Her easy presence, authenticity, and true love for believing in love and showing it through her actions and how she coaches has been a lifeline for my partner and I's relationship over and over. Both in joint sessions and one on ones I always feel held in love, supported, and challenged in just the right ways.

    Bryce, Utah

  • My overall experience with Martha has been a wealth of knowledge and growth. I have done a lot of work on myself and Martha has helped me deepen my self-awareness in ways I have previously not been able to access. She takes the time to understand my partner and I fully individually, as well has the entity that is our relationship. She utilizes somatic modalities that have really helped me become more in touch with signals in my body. The communication, understanding, and awareness within my relationship has strengthened and deepened. Martha really knows what she is doing in this space and we thank her for her role in transforming our relationship.

    Emily, Utah

  • I have gained much more awareness around my state of regulation and consequentially, my response to conflict, whether it's with my husband, my children or even my patients at work. I am able to notice when I am not regulated much more quickly and take more immediate steps to get back into regulation so I can more appropriately manage conflict. I am also able to give my husband the space he needs during conflict when before I would pursue and overwhelm him. I am able to connect more with my husband in a fun, loving and spontaneous way since working with Martha.

    Krysta, New York

  • Working with Martha has saved my relationship. What used to take my partner and I days to resolve and repair (only to have the same conflict again later) has now turned into hours, sometimes even minutes. We are equipped to handle conflict in a way I've never known was possible, and our relationship is thriving because of it. I can't recommend her enough.

    -James, Texas

  • I feel so in touch with myself since working with Martha. The way she untangles my emotions and experiences and mirrors them back to me brings me greater clarity and gives me the support and confidence I need to have hard conversations, speak my truth and ask for what I want. Working with Martha I gain peace, quiet and a break from my mental chatter, giving my my heart has a moment to speak and be heard.

    Leah, Washington, D.C.

follow me on instagram

@howwegetalong

 
View fullsize So... what does it mean to know and be known?
View fullsize Somatic nervous system work is key to healing and long lasting change.
View fullsize listening doesn't mean you agree. so often we jump to defensiveness and both people are left feeling unheard and misunderstood. next time, make listening your main job and remember that their reality is just as valid as yours. Notice what shifts.
View fullsize “Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory.” - Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score Being reactive in your relationship can be a sign of trauma, rather than something being "wrong with you." The first step in add
View fullsize This one is a doozy! Our judgements, criticisms and analyses of others give us so much information about ourselves; what we want, need, and value. It can also show us what we may deny in ourselves (shadow work). For example, let’s say we an

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